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Your First Email

Everyone may wonder what is the best approach for sending that first e-mail?

And here the evident answer is - DO NOT SEND A FORM LETTER! There is no bigger turn off than the person who sends out many letters that they've devised a form letter. It usually contains some personal opening, their basic profile, and a way to contact them. How do you know when it's a form letter? When you get the same letter a few weeks later! Don't do it! If you want to meet someone, and you found their profile interesting enough to respond to, take a few minutes to compose a thoughtful, personal reply, not necessarily too long - tell them what you liked about their profile, what your interests are, and whatever other information you would like them to know about you.

After finally composing and sending that first letter another logical question appears in your mind: When should I expect a reply to my e-mail?

Actually it is not that difficult to suggest. If you haven't heard anything back within three days (on
Holiday and Weekends you might allow an extra two days) - you've waited long enough. It would be nice if everyone could take a moment and just send a brief reply - something like "I got your e-mail, I'll be sending you a detailed reply when I have a bit more time" or "thanks for your e-mail, I have other matters pending which make me too busy to respond right now" would be good - sending nothing is rude.

Another quite important issue concerns things that should not be said in the first e-mail. Keep it in mind, as it is important! Don't talk about sex right from the beginning! It's another turn off - to either gender. Don't talk about your worst attributes. Don't lie to them, be honest and up front. Sure, that may be a turn-off to a lot of people - but every single one of them will appreciate your honesty. The right people for you will enjoy taking the time to get to know you - just tell the truth!

And also one more question that often arouses discussion, that is if it's ok to send e-mail from regular e-mail address? With best intentions I don't recommend doing it at first. There's simply way too much information that can be obtained from your real e-mail. Most people don't reconfigure their Internet mail programs to not list their names, etc. This can be dangerous. Just with your name, they can go to other internet sites and get your address, telephone number, etc In your internet e-mail program (Internet Explorer or Netscape) when in your mail program - usually go to Edit then Preferences or Options. Locate the part of your Internet e-mail program that covers "Identity". You will see things like "name" and "reply to" and "from". You do not need "name" or "reply to" or "from" to have real information. In fact, any of these fields, when entered into a reverse lookup program on the Internet, can return real information about you. Anyone who knows how to view the source of e-mail can still get your real e-mail address - but not your name, etc., and for those reasons I recommend Hotmail. I strongly recommend getting a free e-mail address like that. After you've corresponded for a time, perhaps also spoken on the phone, and feel this person is honorable, then you can give them more information about yourself.

I hope that this information will be useful for you and will help you in building your new relationships on the net.

Good luck to you always!



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